Where Does Love Go?

Love is many things. But let’s say, for now, that love is the capacity for energy to flow in a nourishing way.

This article addresses one way, but not the only way, love can diminish.


I want to build a constellation of ideas for you. My guess is if you play with these ideas in your brain and your body, you’ll find yourself experiencing more life, vitality, and love.

(Please read this as a series of thoughts that together point to what I am saying, rather than a “standard” and sequential text.)

Every time we make a movement, the human system remembers. That “data point” is logged in the associative network. Where these instances clump, they begin to create grooves and generate their own experiential gravity, as humans are prone to categorical perception (inherently).

Every “thought feeling” is a subtle movement; a shift in the hormonal, muscular, and cerebral consciousness.

I’ve heard that humans are one of the only animals that hold on to resentment. Animals experience something, react, and then apparently release it.

Similarly, I’ve heard that humans are one of the few animals that do not (usually) shake to release trauma. For example, an animal about to be attacked may freeze in fear. But then (if they are not ecstatic dancekilled) they will shake it off. A system shake; an etch a sketch reset for the entire organism.

One of the reasons ecstatic dance can be so powerful is that it’s an opportunity to shake and move energy. Another context where it is perfectly appropriate and even likely that you will activate your involuntary musculature is while raising or sharing sexual energy. A shake indeed.

Thanks to the possibility of abstract thought, some times humans are prone to cycling, essentially re-traumatizing themselves in a regressive loop. Thought provokes subtle body signal, subtle body signal provokes thought.

14165966_sOrganic matter is highly adaptable. For example; in the event of injury to a bone or joint, the body will reinforce the injured part with calcium deposits. Another example is that a plant will grow toward sunlight.

Perpetual subtle cues will begin to crystallize/manifest in physical form. The muscle, tissue, and pattern will grow stronger and more likely to assume this “shape.” This arises as tightness or resistance.

Visceral reactivity/experiences/trauma can become trapped in the system (including subtle and physical body),

What does this have to do with love?

One’s partner is (presumably) a perpetual stimulant. If there is unfinished business or incomplete thought/feeling/communication cycles that arise each time one sees their partner, and a resistance to sharing/speaking/clearing them, the body will register the resistance as a data point. This may occur as a visceral tightening around the area where the subtle vibrations cues are stored, so as not to be armorreleased.

Over time the resistance can assume physical form (crystallize from the subtle body), and then, essentially, one’s musculature is guarding “against” the world, and more specifically their partner. Armor has been assumed. Capacity for energy/electricity/ flow has diminished. This can even deteriorate physical health and vitality! There is no space for love.

So what can you do about it?

From there the opportunity is to allow it to be so, or begin to consciously and with love address it. One approach to this is yoga. The way I teach yoga promotes the practice of being with and slowly loving open all the resistances we have accumulated. The practice is9965084_s not to identify them and jar them open, like some kind of internal warfare. The practice is to come to awareness that something is so about your body. The practice is to accept that place of tightness and breathe. If anything, to envision that you are breathing pure white light/energy/prana/oxygen into that space. If anything, to emotionally cradle the constriction, like a child (in some ways it is a child / production / result of a past experience or proclivity). To assure that space that it is safe, that nothing will be forced, and that it is safe to open, if that’s what occurs. And if not that is fine, too! An opportunity to practice loving acceptance – “Oh my body doesn’t want to open there….Okay!” It is all an opportunity to practice loving acceptance and ahimsa (nonviolence).

In relationship/partnership, these tightnesses and energetic blockages can be identified and some times open. But the first necessary step is to acknowledge that they are there!

Even if you don’t know what they are, and even if they don’t make sense! Allow that some vibration / electromagnetic “charge” somewhere is stuck, and can be expressed and listened to.

In the opening of the armor, allowing of expression, listening and releasing is where healing occurs. Some of the most powerful yoga classes I have participated in have found me on the floor, in child’s pose, crying for no reason and all reasons simultaneously.

This points to the laying of hands practice in my healing work, as well. When I am working with someone, I am flowing Reiki (universal life force/energy) through and to them, but I am also “listening” very carefully to their body, to their subtle energetic systems, even listening to their chakras and electromagnetic fields. And I become aware (consciously or not) of where the blockages are, and I listen to them and for them. As they become “heard” some times the blockages dissipate, allowing for more flow to resume.

11944599_sWhen I work with a couple, I similarly listen for and sense where blockages are; for each of them as individuals, as well as for whatever is causing disruption and disconnect between the two of them as a system.

I work intuitively. And if you are curious, I receive a lot of information kinesthetically. Not always, but often, I can feel in my body something the receiver is feeling, or a key to help them release the blockage.

All of this is approached with loving peacefulness, and a desire to serve and help empower individuals, families, and communities to experience more flow, i.e. health, i.e. love.

Does this resonate with you? Have you ever experienced shaking something off in your body? How do you typically feel when there are things you stop yourself from sharing with your partner? Take a moment to share below how this applies to you and your relationships, or not, and ways it may change your experience moving forward. Also feel free to post any questions! I look forward to reading your comments!

Wishing you Love, Intimacy, and Pleasure,






Be Sociable, Share!



Comments are closed.