I follow the Aliveness

CafeI’m at a hotel, and I feel hungry for Italian food. I go to the concierge desk, and the young brunette woman greets me with a bright smile and asks, “How can I help you?” She seems to have a genuine desire to serve, and a desire to please. Essentially a great concierge ready to do her job and well. I feel lightness in my body.

I ask, “Are there any good Italian places nearby?”

Her smile shifts, subtly; becomes less bright. I notice my energy and internal sense of being feels lower/heavier.

She says, with a barely perceptible trace of reticence, “There are a couple Italian places nearby,” and goes on to describe two options; their names and where they are located.

I can tell she’s not keen on either of the places.

My energy still feel lower in my body; heavier.

Dear reader, I must confess: I have a preference; a bias. I want to feel more lightness of being; more aliveness. As though every part of me, all my cells, are uplifted with a subtle electrical signal.

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Q&A: “I have a hard time feeling sexy in front of my husband…”

awkward Dear Marna,

I have a hard time feeling sexy in front of my husband. I want to wear lingerie etc. for him, but have a difficult time getting motivated to do so. I also feel very awkward if I even attempt to try to be sexy.  Any tips for me?

Awkward in Lingerie

Dear Awkward in Lingerie,

Kudos to you for wanting to try something new and feeling ready to step outside your comfort zone! As women we have all this weird pressure to feel sexy and embody the epitome of feminine sensuality. The problem is nobody gave us an instruction manual!

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3 Tips to Keep Sensuality with your Partner Fresh and Exciting

nice friendHave you ever been in a long term relationship where your partner started to feel more like a nice friend than a passionate lover?

The bad news is that this can be frustrating and disconcerting. The good news is that, by addressing your desires together, you are already beginning to shift the patterns that sent you down rut road in the first place!

Here are three ideas and tools to help you create a new detour (away from rut road!) and bring fresh aliveness back to the scene. Continue reading

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Q&A: “I won’t be able to climax. But it’s not just that…”

Decreased sensitivity

Decreased sensitivity

Hi Marna!
This has happened to me every now and then with a partner and alone. It’s unusual but it can happen: I won’t be able to climax. But it’s not just that, it’s like my sensitivity is decreased in general. I know there’s emotional stuff behind it but sometimes it’s not so obvious what it is (there wasn’t a fight or an identifiable resentment/etc.). Then maybe the next day my partner and I will have amazing sex, but 3 days later the problem returns. He’s now abroad and I won’t be seeing him for another few weeks… I’m hoping this isn’t an issue when we reunite.
I’m afraid of this because I don’t understand it and wish to feel more in control of my own body. Continue reading

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Why play with your food?

Playful Food

Okay, so I’m not talking about making a mess.

But I am talking about cultivating a different relationship between you and your food!

The benefit of play applies to a few different aspects of food.

While Shopping

If you only ever go grocery shopping with an exact list, this tip is definitely for you! Next time you go to the farmer’s market or store, be open to the possibility that you don’t know exactly what you are going to get. Perhaps you know you want to get some kind of vegetable. Stand in the vegetable aisle, and scan the selections. Simply notice where your attention naturally goes. Continue reading

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Where Does Love Go?

Love is many things. But let’s say, for now, that love is the capacity for energy to flow in a nourishing way.

This article addresses one way, but not the only way, love can diminish.


I want to build a constellation of ideas for you. My guess is if you play with these ideas in your brain and your body, you’ll find yourself experiencing more life, vitality, and love.

(Please read this as a series of thoughts that together point to what I am saying, rather than a “standard” and sequential text.)

Every time we make a movement, the human system remembers. That “data point” is logged in the associative network. Where these instances clump, they begin to create grooves and generate their own experiential gravity, as humans are prone to categorical perception (inherently). Continue reading

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